46. 三句话不离本“性”

相关链接:我的放荡留学生涯　
“You know, I like Chinese films very much, I enjoy Zhang Yimou, Hero, and Flying Sword Gate.”
我模模糊糊地听懂了张艺谋，还有英雄，其他的就不知道了。我是做梦也没想到呀，在国内一向最讨厌的老谋子，
在我泡洋妞时，居然能帮上忙。于是，我开始白花起大陆人都知道的张艺谋的那点儿事儿。可一开口，就遇到了问题，《红高粱》的英文怎么翻译，
我犹豫了片刻，干脆直接说，
”You know, his best movie is not Hero, but Honggaoliang!”
没想到Erica真知道这部电影，她很兴奋地说：
“I saw it, it is very beautiful!”
“Really？”
我不相信她看过，更不相信她认为那部电影很美。
Erica却认真起来，说：
“I discussed his movies with some Chinese students,
it is very surprising that most Chinese people seem hate him.
But why, he is a good director.”
我心想，老子也挺不喜欢他的，可为什么？我也没想过，就是不喜欢！
不过，我可不想跟梦中情人探讨电影，赶紧转向，于是说：
“It is just like loving a girl. For example, you are a beautiful English girl,
and many Chinese men hope to marry you.
But I am lucky, and I married you. So others hate me!”
Erica被我的解释逗乐了，不过，她细想一下，又觉得有道理，于是说：
“Right，you mean, Zhang is internationally famous,
so he is envied and hated by other professionals,
but why Chinese students dislike him,
why Chinese common people don’t like him?”
我这句话听得半懂不懂，真后悔没有吴雪莱那样的英语水平。
这么好的和Erica交心的机会，就是TMD抓不住。我于是只有顺着后一句，说下去：
“Chinese common people, they hate every successful Chinese man because they don’t think the successful elites
get what they have through open and fair competition,
so they think, only bastards can succeed!”
“Really?”Erica瞪大了眼睛，显然对我的解释大为吃惊，我也不知道自己怎么蹦出了这一堆话，
从哪儿听来的，我也忘了。反正自己在北京参加的Party多，其中奇谈怪论也多，
长久下来，自己的脑子早就成了别人思想的跑马场了。
可是，问题也来了，尽管脑子里装着很多新潮观点，但只有骨头没有肉，
要展开讨论就不成了。
我只有把话题再往性、美女等方面扯。于是说：
“You know, the woman in his film, the woman star, she always appeared in Zhang’s films!”
我知道自己的外语实在是糟糕透顶了，不过此刻，能说明白就是万幸了。
“You say Gong Li?” Erica连这个也知道，没想到。
“Well, you know it so much! Yes, you know, she was Zhang’ s lover,
and she can play an important role in most Zhang’s films.
So Chinese people believe that they both are bad guys!”
我的意思是就此扯到情人这方面，没想到Erica又说，
“But she is a good actress, I like her, very orient beauty!”
好，我心里说，机会来了，扯到东方美上了。
我才懒得去品味Gong Li那张老酸脸呢，我喜欢的是Erica青春靓丽的洋妞倩影。于是赶紧说：
“No，If you ask 100 Chinese men, 99 would tell you she is ugly.
As to beauty, forgive me, I think you are much much more beautiful than her!”
我的英语水平不允许我再拽了，否则，不知道拽到哪儿去了，
还是赶紧表白心迹吧！